Saturday, 25 November 2017

Can’t Believe I Am Now A Nobody —Dis-Graceful Gucci Grace Weeps Bitterly

My People, Poor Bhobho, The Bobster, his hopes of ruling even from beyond the grave have been dashed. His desire to die in office will no longer be fulfilled unless if he becomes president of a certain loss- making dairy enterprise.

The unbridled ambitions of a young unsophisticated wife have helped bring down a big man.

While sleeping in their palatial home or even over dinner, the most ridiculous idea started growing in their minds which were already drunk with power.

In the same style as their friend Nguema from Equatorial Guinea who is deputised by his son, The Bobster seriously entertained the idea of having his former typist and small house becoming our vice president and possibly our future president while grooming their daughter, son-in-law or one of their wayward sons.

Of course, she was surrounded by a coterie of young gentlemen who wanted a lot from her and I mean a lot.

They were willing to use her as a cover from their enemies and a stepping stone for their own political rise.

Then the military, for long the target of Bhobho and Dr Amai Marujata’s vitriol, decided to say “Stop it!”
Can’t Believe I Am Now A Nobody —Dis-Graceful Gucci Grace Weeps Bitterly
This is all good material for a movie. You could call it “Small House Saga”.

This is what happens when you take a nation for granted for too long.

You fall down with a huge thud. As many have begun to say, it did not have to end like this. Instead of going out in a decent way, Bhobho will go down in history among tyrants and despots who had to be removed from power after popular uprisings in the same manner that people like Mobutu were hounded out of their countries.

Missing me

Life is very lonely at the Blue Roof as I no longer get visitors, mainly G40 colleagues coming to pay homage to G40 leader, The Bobster.

We are still trying to come to terms with the fact that we are now “nobodies” in this country.


I know that you have all begun to miss me. I will not forgive Ngwena and his soldiers for what they did to Gushaz and me.
Can you imagine we are now ordinary people and that Oxiria is now the first lady and Ngwena the president, head of state and government and commander in chief of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces.

I even pleaded with those soldiers when they came to announce the coup that I was their first lady, the president’s wife, but they refused to listen to me.

Already, there are calls that I should hold the final interface meeting in Harare and then begin fresh rounds of nationwide meetings next year. That is simply because as the mother of the nation, people love and adore me.

We could have Bhobho The Bobster doing another round of interface meetings with women then war veterans, then maybe soldiers, if they are interested.

The script is very simple, it will begin with me knocking off two bottles of Viceroy and asking Cde Mandi to give me a little something to smoke before addressing the meetings.

The people give us the oxygen to survive and we need public roles that will allow us to meet the people.

Why we did not attend Ngwena’s inauguration

There are many theories that have been flying around about why we did not attend Ngwena’s inauguration.

Many are surprised that despite the fact that we attended many “useless” inaugurations in Africa and beyond, we did not attend one held in Harare.

Well, the truth of the matter is that there were no allowances and so we could not stoop that low.

In any case, where were we going to shop after the inauguration?

So no allowance, no inauguration.

In any case, my boys had told me that Ngwena and his people were planning to boo me and The Bobster.

Look at what happened to Chihuri.

The more things seem to change

The more things seem to change, the more they seem to remain the same or something to that effect, according to some popular saying.

Did you see that at the last politburo meeting, Oxiria sat a few paces from Ngwena who was seating at the front.

Well, why should she not join him at the top table like some of us were doing.

In fact, we want Oxiria for vice-president!

Munhuwese kuna Amai!

Umasalu wezwelonke!

Dr Amai Stop it! (Miracle Ph.D)




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